Tasteful Dress for "Maturing Adults"

At last, we have the final word on correct dress for the maturing adult!

Many of us "Old Folks"(those over 50, WAY over 50 or on the way to 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions - and, of course, we all want to be Emiley Post correct!

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
11. Bikinis and liver spots
12. Short shorts and varicose veins
13. Inline skates and a walker

And the ultimate "Bad Taste" in fashion ! for the "Older Folks"......................

14. Thongs and Depends

Author Unknown

Traffic Phenomenon

I've noticed something and to me, it's strange.

It usually takes me about an hour and ten minutes to get to work. About 30 mins driving from my house to the Park and Ride lot, and then 40 minutes (including parking, walking across the lot, waiting for the bus to fill up and then actually travelling downtown) to get in to the office.

Last week, it was taking less than an hour each day - I was on time, even early on several occasions. This is rare for me.

I commented at work that the traffic seemed to be light and someone said "the kids are out of school"

Okay - so this begs the question... are the people I'm stuck in traffic with every morning actually 14 yr old junior high school students, or what? I don't quite get why school being out would affect the traffic patterns so drastically.

There can't be that many school kids of driving age to make such a difference.

I rarely see school buses on my route anyway, so it's not the *lack* of buses making the trip lighter.

And at my office, we didn't have hordes of parents out all week because the kids were home (except there were some that took off either Friday, Monday or both)

It's not an illusion either, yesterday and today, the traffic was back with a vengeance. I was late to work by 10 minutes both days.

So just who are all these people? And why are they in my way??

Closet Shopping

Well last weekend I was out sprucing up the yard. This weekend, because it suddenly turned cold and windy again, I decided to sort out my drawers and closet.

This actually turned out to be way more exciting than it sounds :-)

I started by switching out my summer and winter clothes. I put my heavy winter stuff in the back of the closet, where it can stay till next year. I weeded through as I went, so there was quite a bit less than I started with.

Then I sorted through the spring/summer stuff that had been lurking in the back of the closet. The fun part of this was that there were a number of items I didn't wear at all last year because I had put on so much weight. I did some trying on this weekend and found at least two more pairs of pants that now fit well instead of bursting at the seams!

The most fun part of all was discovering a forgotten bag on the floor behind the closet door. Inside I found a pair of pants that I bought last summer but couldn't get zipped up. I had thrown the bag on the floor in disgust! You can imagine how thrilled I was when I tried them on one more time and was able to get them done up. They actually look pretty good and rather slinky -- mid-rise waist, flared legs and all :-)

So I think I've got enough clothes for my trip to England in May.

I love "shopping" in my closet :-)

Weekend Fun

I had a great day this past Saturday. One of my passions is horses, and I got to spend all day learning more about horses at the Texas Draft Horse and Mule Association's annual seminar.

It was a 110-mile round trip to get there, but I was actually one of the closer attendees, some of whom had driven (draft horse in tow) from Livingston, Dallas, Waco, etc.

The seminar included a presentation from a Purina representative on horse nutrition, an equine acupuncturist giving a demonstration, and hands-on talks on draft horse care, harnessing, riding and driving. I wasn't expecting it, but I actually got a chance to ride two different draft horses -- talk about a blast! Below is a photo of me on a HUGE Belgian gelding named Jolly.



In addition, I found a trainer who may be willing to work with my horse, Star, so the day was good for networking too :-)

Sign of a High School Education

OK, so I'm at the checkout at the grocery store. My cart is filled with healthy goodies - yogurts, salad veggies etc.

The young checker, apparently having a stressful first solo day on the checkout, makes several errors while ringing up my groceries.

But the clincher came when she picked up the bag of cucumbers and asked "uh, what are these called?"

"They're cucumbers," I replied, "you must not be a veggie lover"

"Thanks," says she, and begins to enter the information into the register, before faltering again.

"How do you spell that?" she asks?

I was speechless.

Diet Humor

Get ready to groan!

********************

A woman is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. He tells
her, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and
repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll
have lost at least five pounds." When the woman returns, she's lost
nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you
follow my instructions?"

The woman nods and answers, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was
going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asks the doctor.

"No", replied the woman, "From skipping."