Children's Science Exam Answers

Every now and then a true gem arrives in my email inbox. As I read through this, I was thankful I wasn't sipping my morning coffee because I surely would have sputtered it all over my keyboard (hence requiring me to replace yet another fried keyboard)

These are just priceless. Here's the email as I received it:

Children's Science Exam Answers

This is really cute. Almost better than a cup of
Coffee to start your morning.... If you need a laugh,
read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.

These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and
vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which Water can be
made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to
drink because it removes large pollutants like grit,
sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the
leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in
the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides
are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no
water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget
where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets
still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you
get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A:
He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to
his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A:
Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer
does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(e.go., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three
parts--- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal
cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section" A:
The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?' A: Benign is
what you will be after you be eight.