The Hormone Hostage

I never had problems with the dreaded PMS until I hit 50. Now I guess it's a combination of PMS and approaching menopause - joy, oh joy!

So anyway, when this arrived in my mailbox, I thought it was particularly appropriate and thought I would share it here :)


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The hormone hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

Dangerous:	Safer:	Safest:	Ultra Safe:
What's for dinner?	Can I help you with dinner?	Where would you like to go for dinner?	Here, have some wine
Are you wearing that?	Wow, you sure look good in brown!	Wow, look at you!	Here, have some more wine
What are you so worked up about?	Could we be overreacting?	Here's my paycheck	Here, have some wine
Should you be eating that?	You know, there are a lot of apples left	You want some chocolate with that?	Here, have some wine
What did you do all day?	I hope you didn't overdo it today.	I've always loved you in that robe!	Here, have some more wine

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Swing
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweats
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Poor Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
*** And Finally....
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!!

...or MEN who may need warning!!